Is your behaviour damaging trust?

Management-issues has a great article that asks the question “Does your behavior damage trust?” and list the following 25 behaviours that contribute to creating mistrust within your team:

1. You fail to keep your promises, agreements and commitments.
   
2. You serve your self first and others only when it is convenient.
   
3. You micromanage and resist delegating.
   
4. You demonstrate an inconsistency between what you say and how you behave.
   
5. You fail to share critical information with your colleagues.
   
6. You choose to not tell the truth.
   
7. You resort to blaming and scapegoating others rather than own your mistakes.
   
8. You judge, and criticize rather than offer constructive feedback.
   
9. You betray confidences, gossip and talk about others behind their backs.
   
10. You choose to not allow others to contribute or make decisions.
    
11. You downplay others’ talents, knowledge and skills.
    
12. You refuse to support others with their professional development.
    
13. You resist creating shared values, expectations and intentions in favor of your own agenda; you refuse to compromise and foster win-lose arguments.
14. You refuse to be held accountable by your colleagues.
    
15. You resist discussing your personal life, allowing your vulnerability, disclosing your weaknesses and admitting your relationship challenges.
16. You rationalize sarcasm, put-down humor and off-putting remarks as "good for the group".
    
17. You fail to admit you need support and don’t ask colleagues for help.
    
18. You take others’ suggestions and critiques as personal attacks.
    
19. You fail to speak up in team meetings and avoid contributing constructively.
    
20. You refuse to consider the idea of constructive conflict and avoid conflict at all costs.
    
21. You consistently hijack team meetings and move them off topic.
    
22. You refuse to follow through on decisions agreed upon at team meetings.
    
23. You secretly engage in back-door negotiations with other team members to create your own alliances.
    
24. You refuse to give others the benefit of the doubt and prefer to judge them without asking them to explain their position or actions.
25. You refuse to apologize for mistakes, misunderstandings and inappropriate behavior and dig your heels in to defend yourself and protect your reputation.

 

Looking at the above list how are you doing? Are you creating or destroying trust?

Leadership is a choice

"The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” 

- Ayn Rand

As people we are designed to choose. Like many other things in life, leadership too is a choice we make. . We do not become great leaders because of our title or position. Leadership is about making the decision and taking the responsibility to bring our future into the present. This first step to becoming an effective leader… it is the choice to be proactive. 

The question is “have we make the choice to lead?” Although you may think of yourself as a leader, until you choose leadership you will find yourself drifting around aimlessly. Lacking passion, commitment, courage and direction.

We don’t usually choose not to lead, we simply choose not to get involved. We choose to be neutral and not to participate. We choose to simply observe from the sidelines, choosing rather to be an observer of life rather than a liver of life!

Unless we make the choice to lead… we we will fail at leadership…

• We fail to choose to leadership when…. we choose to take action by what seems possible or reasonable. We have chosen to live with the constraints of the circumstances. We have chosen to surrender.
• We fail to choose leadership when…. we do not to choose and rather wait to see what happens.
• We fail to choose leadership when… we do what everyone else seems to be doing and follow that route.
• We fail to choose leadership when… we eliminate all other options and follow the one that seems to have the best chances of producing good results. This is usually the safe and risk free option. It’s also the mediocre option.

Many of the “choices” listed above are the result of living a passive and mediocre existence. Leadership is never a mediocre response to life. Leadership is inspired and passionate. In fact, the choice to lead requires passion, there is a clear relationship between leadership, passion and action. The more passionate you are the more proactive you tend to be and passionate people initiate action. Passionate people make things happen. Passionate people don’t wait for others form ‘permission’ to lead, they make the choice and take leadership.

• Have you made the choice to lead or are you waiting for someone to give you permission?
• Have you made the choice to lead…. or are you just going with the flow?

We were not created to watch from the sidelines… we were made to get involved… to lead… Remember that we first we make our choices… then our choices make us. If you don’t choose to lead, you will be used to accomplished the vision of someone who has made the choice to lead.

 

Decide today..!

Jon Gordon’s 10 thoughts on leadership

I stumbled across these “10 Thoughts about Leadership” from Jon Gordon’s blog which are great and I thought them worth sharing.

1. People follow the leader first and the leader’s vision second - It doesn’t matter if the leader shares a powerful vision, if the leader is not someone who people will follow the vision will never be realized. As a leader, who you are makes a difference. The most important message you can share is yourself.
2. Trust is the force that connects people to the leader and his/her vision - Without trust there is a huge gap between the leader and the vision. Without trust people will stay off the bus. However if people trust the leader they will hop on the bus with the leader and help move the bus forward towards the vision.
3. Leadership is not just about what you do but what you can inspire, encourage and empower others to do.
4. A leader brings out the best within others by sharing the best within themselves.
5. Just because you’re driving the bus doesn’t mean you have the right to run people over - Abraham Lincoln said “Most anyone can stand adversity, but to test a man’s character give him power.” The more power you are granted the more it is your responsibility to serve, develop and empower others. When you help them grow they’ll help you grow.
6. “Rules without Relationship Leads to Rebellion” - Andy Stanley said this and it’s one of my favorite quotes. As a leader you can have all the rules you want but if you don’t invest in your people and develop a relationship with them they will rebel. This applies amazingly to children as well. It’s all about relationships.
7. Lead with optimism, enthusiasm and positive energy, guard against pessimism and weed out negativity.
8. Great Leaders know they don’t have all the answers. Rather they build a team of people who either know the answers or will find them.
9. Leaders inspire and teach their people to focus on solutions, not complaints. (The No Complaining Rule)
10. Great leaders know that success is a process not a destination - One of my heroes John Wooden, the legendary UCLA basketball coach, never focused on winning. He knew that winning was the by product of great leadership, teamwork, focus, commitment and execution of the fundamentals. As a leader focus on your people and process, not the outcome.

This list really resonated with me. Point 1 “People follow the leader first and the leader’s vision second” is so true. Unless people have the confidence in the leader’s character and his ability to successfully lead the way people will not follow. Have you given the necessary attention to you character and competence so that people have the confidence to follow? It’s this that create the trust, “the force that connects people to the leader and his/her vision”, which inspire the commitment to take action.